Belasungkawa untuk Rakan Sekolah

Aku di Starbucks East Coast Mall, Kuantan tadi tengah browse facebook. Tiba-tiba saja nak tengok status update kawan-kawan lama zaman-zaman sekolah.

Page dia penuh dengan ucapan takziah. Aku ingat mula-mula ucapan takziah pada keluarga dia mungkin sebab aku teringat pernah terbaca ayah/ibu mertuanya sakit dan kembali ke rahmatullah. Tapi bahasanya macam tujukan pada isteri dan keluarga dia. Makin aku baca makin aku rasa tak sedap hati.

Aku google nama dia dan jumpa keratan berita. Ya Allah!

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Pokok reput penyebab ajal

Oleh ADHAM SHADAN
adham.shadan@kosmo.com.my

ISTERI Mohd. Helmi melihat mayat suaminya yang mati dihempap batang pokok reput di Jalan Bukit Nanas, Kuala Lumpur semalam.

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KUALA LUMPUR – Seorang wanita hanya mampu menangis apabila suaminya yang baru sahaja menghantarnya ke tempat kerja maut dihempap sebatang pokok reput di Jalan Bukit Nanas di sini semalam.

Kejadian pukul 8.30 pagi itu menyebabkan seorang kakitangan bank, Mohd. Helmi Husain, 37, (gambar kecil) mati selepas mengalami cedera parah di kepala dihempap pokok setinggi lima meter yang terletak di kiri jalan itu ketika hendak ke tempat kerjanya di Jalan Ampang.

Isterinya juga seorang kakitangan bank dan bekerja di Jalan Pudu. Dia yang menerima khabar itu beberapa minit kemudian bergegas ke lokasi kejadian dan hanya mampu menangis.

Sebaik sampai, dia melihat mayat suaminya masih lagi ditimpa batang pokok tersebut sebelum ia dialihkan oleh kakitangan Dewan Bandaraya Kuala Lumpur (DBKL).

Difahamkan, setiap hari, bapa kepada lapan anak itu akan menghantar isterinya ke tempat kerja sebelum dia akan ke pejabatnya pula.

Pegawai Turus Siasatan dan Perundangan Trafik Kuala Lumpur, Deputi Supritendan Abdullah Roning berkata, pokok tersebut tiba-tiba tumbang sebaik mangsa melalui kawasan tersebut.

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He was my best friend when I was in secondary school. We hanged out together a lot. And yeah, we kicked ass when we play video games together. Our nicks would fill the screen when we played, his was MIE, I used MAC (because I used to worship MacGyver). His forte was mostly shoot-em-ups like 1942 and 1943. I was more into platform games. We were both prefects in school. He was an avid sport player, I was more into chess and quizzes.

We went our separate ways after SPM. He went to ITM Arau. I went to KPP. We exchanged correspondence quite a few times, and then suddenly stopped after he moved.

We met again on facebook 2 years ago, after a long hiatus for like 16 years. Saw his profile and I sent a short message “are you who I think you are?” He was happily married, with 8 kids. I was like “Wow!” But we’ve never met, only chat on facebook.

I envied his good life. He was happy, he got everything. I was the best student in my school, supposed to further my studies in the States, but didn’t make it. I had to start again from the bottom of the food chain. I avoided meeting old friends, because it reminded me of my failure, because I’ve never failed before. Blame my ego. Now I feel like crap because I didn’t go to see him to catch up on old times.

The way he left was so directly stark, made me rethink He can give or take anything He wants, and that’d only be part of an equation. Freak accident, that is, more apparent in Final Destination movies and we are in no position to judge or define the act itself without understanding the equation.

For the family, be strong, he was a very good person.

I'm so sorry for everything. May your soul be placed amongst the martyrs of Islam. Al-Fatihah.

HP7-1

saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 last Wednesday at Alamanda, Putrajaya.

Loved the movie, though a lil bit slow, but I guess they're building it up for a grand finale. And I cant wait to see Molly fights Bellatrix and also the scene where Snape passes his memory to Harry Potter.

After trailers about Harry Potter started showing, I can't help but trying to be my usual self and step into the characters' shoes. And I can't help feeling related to the character Severus Snape, or if you like, want to think I am.



Sad sad character. Loner. Sarcastic. Grudges. Brilliant. Ahahahah... yea, make that I want to think I am.

Panasonic Lumix DMC-LX3

Got myself this camera last night, when me and friends went out to hang out. I've been reading reviews about this camera for months, and this is the only one I can afford that's within my budget, compared to its other rivals (Canon G11/G12, Canon S90/95, Panasonic Lumix LX5).

Shutterbug has hit me!

I do see the craze these days when the price of DSLRs getting cheaper. But I don't plan to chug 2kg of camera around me.

Already budgeted for this camera to be used in NY, unfortunately my visa wasn't approved. And still isn't. What the hell took them that long to check me out? And I don't see any 'men in black' following me around too.

This is to be used next month, when I plan to do my traveling.

37

so many things to achieve, so little time.

thank you for the wishes, you know who you are.

Oct 1, 2010

Nothing to write, so this will be very spontaneous.

Am at work, taking a break from doing my claims. Lots of open houses to go to this weekend. Today noon, my dept's open house, later my ex-company's open house. Tomorrow noon, my ex-colleague's open house, a colleague's open house and a wedding, while at night a friend's open house and also another colleague's. Sunday, my brother's open house. Am so going to add back 3kg that I lost.

Other notes, I presented the findings during our department's meeting about the workshop we had last week in Alor Star. Interesting to note that there're still kids, who happen to live close to a major town, haven't touched a computer all their lives. And the look on their faces when they were shown what the computer can do was simply priceless.

I see things from their eyes, and the idea of the new found knowledge is beautiful. I remember again why I like to learn and observe.

Guess I always wanted to be an agent of change. Guess I am quite lucky I get to do that.

Quote - ANTM

"sometimes, not being in control is the most beautiful thing in the world"
- Tyra Banks, ANTM Cycle 11

Prayers

Life's a little bit more bearable since I have other living things at home. I was told plants and pets pray for you if you take good care of them. I want to believe that.

Maybe it's time for me to further my studies. Yes, it is.

I'm in Alor Star now, via Firefly. My first time on a propeller airplane. Excited and scared at the same time. I'm always paranoid when I'm put in position where I don't have control. Yea, trust issues...

The flight was delayed by 40mins because of the bad weather.

Arrived Alor Star close to 10pm, instead of at 9.25pm. Then got an SMS from a government officer asking whether I'm going to the launch, and if so, she wanted to reserve a seat for me, on stage. Yeah, rite! Like hell I'm gonna seat on stage! Told her my flight was delayed, and I don't have proper attire. But it felt good being considered tho.

Thank you my plants and pets for your prayers. Hahahaha...

Aquascaping - evolution in 8 months

Taken on 8 Dec 2009

Taken on 11 Dec 2009 - After spending some cash buying plants.

Taken on 2 January 2010
- Included a pair of guppies and 12 neon tetras

Taken on 8 January 2010 - Bought some hairgrass plants, which died a few weeks later. Pissed, so i changed the whole top cover to include actual full spectrum light.

Taken on 10 February 2010 - Added few plants, and killed lots more. Neon tetras getting smaller in size, guppies starting to spawn. But full spectrum light starting to spur growth of plant. But I need to maintain the CO2 and temperature.

Taken 1 July 2010 - Java fern moss covered whole driftwood. Guppies spawned like there's no tomorrow. Fifi, the female albino guppy in the centre, is now gone. She left quite a number of offsprings, some of which retain her albino color. The original guppies which I bought are now gone, and all in the aquarium, about 50+ of em, are the pioneers' offspring.

I am tired...

... of all the travelings.

One week, Kedah. The next week, Kelantan. The next week, Pahang. Then maybe it'll be Perlis next. Then the cycle repeats again.

Please Allah give me strength to withstand these travels so that I can pay back my debts, and eat exotic food whatever I want, and travel wherever I want.

Amin...

Panasonic Lumix LX-3 vs Canon S90?

What's your take?

Actually am shortlisting Panasonic Lumix LX-3 vs Canon S90 vs Canon G11, but G11 would cost RM1.7+ which is outside my budget. So just either one of the two then.

Am more inclined towards Lumix though.

Maybe I'll be able to learn new things and blog about food or whatever my passion is at the moment. Maybe.

Pisces: A short monologue

He's the "World's Best Friend". What is he? Flows around, like water, taking the shape that he's in.

Unfair to say he's fake, coz you define him as the bottle he's being put in, knowing full well he'll change his shape later, when he's in another bottle.

He feels you, though perhaps he can feel your pain if it happens to him, as himself, not as you. But he feels you. Dare you ask more? Dare you ask him to feel your pain as yourself? Dare you ask him to put himself as yourself? You're asking too much. He feels you in the limited capacity and knowledge of of his experience, that's good enough. It isn't? Then, try talking to an Aries, life is all bout them, then you know.

He's the bard, the one who sings encouraging songs in a battle, so that people keep fighting for the cause. Aries could be in front of the line. Scorpio could be planning the whole thing. Leo could be charging forward with the team. Cancer could be arguing the point of the whole battle. Aquarius could be inventing new methods to help win the war.

He could very well see plus points in you that you didn't see yourself, coz he wanted to see what he wanted to see. He likes being popular, despite what he says. Just watch and see. It gives him strength to go on, to help spread his contributions. But it mustn't be that obvious.

He could try to be a walking wikipedia, sharing his knowledge whenever he could, because he wanted to. He's a vessel, remember? It's annoying? Live with it because he doesn't think he's showing off.

He reminds me to not take life too seriously, coz when he see things as outside his control, he's more laidback and accepting. And I could remind them to have a goal, coz I try to control everything as I get pissed off really bad when I fail in something. Who's right? C'mon, we're adults now and although in the end it's black and white, good or bad, right or wrong, it's the grey areas that defines the end. End justify means, Machiavelli would say. Maybe you don't agree. But we have different basic values that complement each other which makes me and him good friends. Go figure.

So, how do you handle him? Could it be the same as how do you control water from spilling over? Define that water, not the shape it's in. And be a strong shape for water to be filled in. Just don't try to make water solid, or solid to change itself to shape water.

Half a year, an old friend, travels

Writing this in my hotel room, in Kota Bharu. Excellent hotel the Renaissance, I must say. Better than the ones I had to stay in Kangar or Alor Star. Yea, lucky that I get to travel to the states and learn and see new things. And the food, oh glorious food!! Food is my passion, of course. If only I've an acceptable camera, I'd be doing my own food blog, more of the off-the-beaten path food. My own standards.

Kota Bharu is nice. My Chinese colleague was pleasantly surprised because all of his misconceptions about Kelantan aren't true. The girls are hot. The food is great. The mat rempits performing stunts on the road are crazily attention-seeking cool bastards. Had the usual Yati Ayam Percik, which is now franchised and has presence in KL. And also Nasi Kak Wok, whoever Kak Wok is but everyone is selling them. And now apparently the trend is on Sate Baung, but not using ikan baung. I've never driven in Kota Bharu before, and it's more happening than Alor Star or Kangar.

On the 2nd day here, I met an old friend from college which I haven't met for bout 12years. He's married with 2 kids. And yeah, he's been pestering me to get married. "Nanti umur ko dah 50 tahun, anak ko baru Darjah 1". U think? He thought I was doing ok now, coz we both didn't make it to the States. I didn't realise that, as I've been pushing myself against the best in my class.

Half a year has gone. What have I achieved? Studying to pass my certification exam, for one. Maybe I'm not too old to study further. Maybe I'm not too dumb to achieve more. Maybe I can still kick ass like I was back in school.

I'm going back to KL tomorrow. An eye opener trip indeed. Half the battle is won when you said you can. Corny, isn't it? It works, especially when you depend on luck playing bowling with Wan, for example.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...

I've been traveling outstation almost every week since early Feb.

I should've done this last year, then perhaps my target to clear my credit cards could've been achieved end of 2009.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps... so said Shirley Bassey...

Some friends are checking out tickets to Europe this weekend at MATTA Fair, and I don't think I've enough to join them. Perhaps I can only afford the tickets, but not the expenses and the shopping. If only I did save up earlier, which I couldn't because I'm paying my credit card, then perhaps I could afford to join them.

Perhaps...

"Now, lie low and just observe like you always do"
"But I wanna have fun and enjoy!"

"Yes, but that won't make you happy"
"Why not?"

"Because you're cursed to understand. Because ignorance is bliss."
"No I don't understand anything. I only try to feel what they feel."

"Guess so... too bad. Perhaps you don't have to..."
"Perhaps..."

March of the fishes

I'm typing this in my hotel room in Kuantan.

Just got back from late supper with colleagues at the famous Kemaman Kopitiam. Realised that some of my close friends and family will be celebrating birthdays this month.

So, here's to all, in no particular order of importance:

• Hard
• Heri
• Safuan
• IsGelak Jangan Lupa Vote
  
• Damage Control
• Julia
  
• My mum
• My (late) dad

How does it feels like growing up with Pisceans? Of course, many would object something that sounds so 'intangible'... nor do they behave so differently from others, anyways. Maybe I'll blog about it someday...

So, who is the strongest-willed/'toughest bitch-from hell'/highly ambitious/artistically articulated Piscean you know?

gin blossoms - til i hear it from you

I was trying to sleep yesterday when this song was played on mix.fm. Yea, I always let the radio on when I sleep because the silence is deafening.

1995. The song was by Gin Blossoms. From the Empire Records movie soundtrack. Liv Tyler, Renee Zelweger, etc. Staying in Shah Alam with 4-5 others, we would rent video tapes to be watched together on weekends.

1995. Grunge. Nirvana. Cranberries. Seattle bands. Reality Bites. Winona Ryder. Ethan Hawke was cool. Junkie-look models. Kate Moss. Checkered flannel shirts.

"Ko pergi mana?"
"WUSHU"
"Pittsburgh!"
"New Mexico"
"NYU!!". "I'm gonna be a New Yorker!!"
"Michigan Ann-Arbor".
"Cornell". "Power sialll".
"Dia anak Ani Arope, dapat choice pergi MIT atau Stanford. Dia nak pergi Stanford sebab murah skit".

Friends left to the States by batches, I was left. I didn't make it. I wasn't good enough for the placing.

Never failed anything major before in my entire life so that sucked.

Something died in me after that, and has yet to recover.

"Time is running out, you have to move faster!!". I keep telling myself. And I'm getting tired.

Friends said I'm competitive, I said I'm trying to be relevant.

1995. I questioned everything.
"Is there a God?"
"Look up, just look up and see." The voice inside my head said.
I looked up and saw the moon. It wasn't the full moon. Earth's shadow made it crescent.
"That's a brilliant mathematical equation! Earth and moon have to be at the position they are now to cast a complete eclipse of the sun or moon!"
I decided there is a God...

Gained my strength and will to live, but something else that died in me has yet to recover. I don't know what it is.

Today, I've been auto-repeating this song the whole day, the only song in my WinAmp playlist. Brought back weird memories that I don't want to remember again, fun memories at college, sad memories of disappointments. I want to know what died...

Security & Stability vs Pushing Limits & Taking Risks

which would you choose?

...then again, don't we know our friends' answers already?

Aquascaping (part iv)

Removed the lid, bought a proper light and a new filter at Ikano.

Released the fries (want some fish with that?) into the main aquarium. And I think 4-5 out of 20+ survived. The rest? Got eaten by their own kind.

Will have to wait for the bacteria to grow, then perhaps I'll change the water, and scout around for DIY chiller.

Aquascaping (part iii) & New Year

Happy New Year all!!

The bigger plants in my aquarium died. Guess I'll have to be content with java moss and those river grass.

Got myself 10 guppies, 10 neon tetras. Gonna get a corydora (a type of catfish, but supposedly it eats algae and don't grow as big as pleco a.k.a ikan bandaraya).

Changed the water at 4am yesterday when I saw the gills of the fishes turned red (possible ammonia/nitrate poisoning).

Bought the guppies yesterday, and today found out the females gave birth to bout 20+ small fries.

Now I've no idea what to do with the little ones...

Had some friends over for New Year. Pretty low key affair comprised of close friends, some of whom I haven't met for quite some time. So... thanx to:

• Wan for the potato salad appetiser. Funky color, dude!
• Leo & Amri for the roasted chicken, chocs. Yeap, Ayamas's garlic sauce kicks ass!
• Hard & Azrul for the spaghetti bolognaise, jelly de la creme mon ami (or whatever the dessert's name is). Yum!
  
• Is & Shah for the signature drink SodaGelak and signature munchie CucurGelak.
• Safuan for the grubs & munchies, cranberry sauce, yummy dips, and best-in-class Pringles.
• Awis for the brownie & ice-cream dessert.

Played ps3 (no, i can't afford one and until there're 'cheaper copies' of the games, i won't buy it), charades (competitive bunch we are, aren't we?), watched movies (mostly halfway, different taste), discussed New Year Resolutions (new year, same resolutions, get it?!).

Well, cheers to all and thanx for coming!