Tuesday, July 6, 2010

I am tired...

... of all the travelings.

One week, Kedah. The next week, Kelantan. The next week, Pahang. Then maybe it'll be Perlis next. Then the cycle repeats again.

Please Allah give me strength to withstand these travels so that I can pay back my debts, and eat exotic food whatever I want, and travel wherever I want.

Amin...

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Panasonic Lumix LX-3 vs Canon S90?

What's your take?

Actually am shortlisting Panasonic Lumix LX-3 vs Canon S90 vs Canon G11, but G11 would cost RM1.7+ which is outside my budget. So just either one of the two then.

Am more inclined towards Lumix though.

Maybe I'll be able to learn new things and blog about food or whatever my passion is at the moment. Maybe.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Pisces: A short monologue

He's the "World's Best Friend". What is he? Flows around, like water, taking the shape that he's in.

Unfair to say he's fake, coz you define him as the bottle he's being put in, knowing full well he'll change his shape later, when he's in another bottle.

He feels you, though perhaps he can feel your pain if it happens to him, as himself, not as you. But he feels you. Dare you ask more? Dare you ask him to feel your pain as yourself? Dare you ask him to put himself as yourself? You're asking too much. He feels you in the limited capacity and knowledge of of his experience, that's good enough. It isn't? Then, try talking to an Aries, life is all bout them, then you know.

He's the bard, the one who sings encouraging songs in a battle, so that people keep fighting for the cause. Aries could be in front of the line. Scorpio could be planning the whole thing. Leo could be charging forward with the team. Cancer could be arguing the point of the whole battle. Aquarius could be inventing new methods to help win the war.

He could very well see plus points in you that you didn't see yourself, coz he wanted to see what he wanted to see. He likes being popular, despite what he says. Just watch and see. It gives him strength to go on, to help spread his contributions. But it mustn't be that obvious.

He could try to be a walking wikipedia, sharing his knowledge whenever he could, because he wanted to. He's a vessel, remember? It's annoying? Live with it because he doesn't think he's showing off.

He reminds me to not take life too seriously, coz when he see things as outside his control, he's more laidback and accepting. And I could remind them to have a goal, coz I try to control everything as I get pissed off really bad when I fail in something. Who's right? C'mon, we're adults now and although in the end it's black and white, good or bad, right or wrong, it's the grey areas that defines the end. End justify means, Machiavelli would say. Maybe you don't agree. But we have different basic values that complement each other which makes me and him good friends. Go figure.

So, how do you handle him? Could it be the same as how do you control water from spilling over? Define that water, not the shape it's in. And be a strong shape for water to be filled in. Just don't try to make water solid, or solid to change itself to shape water.

Half a year, an old friend, travels

Writing this in my hotel room, in Kota Bharu. Excellent hotel the Renaissance, I must say. Better than the ones I had to stay in Kangar or Alor Star. Yea, lucky that I get to travel to the states and learn and see new things. And the food, oh glorious food!! Food is my passion, of course. If only I've an acceptable camera, I'd be doing my own food blog, more of the off-the-beaten path food. My own standards.

Kota Bharu is nice. My Chinese colleague was pleasantly surprised because all of his misconceptions about Kelantan aren't true. The girls are hot. The food is great. The mat rempits performing stunts on the road are crazily attention-seeking cool bastards. Had the usual Yati Ayam Percik, which is now franchised and has presence in KL. And also Nasi Kak Wok, whoever Kak Wok is but everyone is selling them. And now apparently the trend is on Sate Baung, but not using ikan baung. I've never driven in Kota Bharu before, and it's more happening than Alor Star or Kangar.

On the 2nd day here, I met an old friend from college which I haven't met for bout 12years. He's married with 2 kids. And yeah, he's been pestering me to get married. "Nanti umur ko dah 50 tahun, anak ko baru Darjah 1". U think? He thought I was doing ok now, coz we both didn't make it to the States. I didn't realise that, as I've been pushing myself against the best in my class.

Half a year has gone. What have I achieved? Studying to pass my certification exam, for one. Maybe I'm not too old to study further. Maybe I'm not too dumb to achieve more. Maybe I can still kick ass like I was back in school.

I'm going back to KL tomorrow. An eye opener trip indeed. Half the battle is won when you said you can. Corny, isn't it? It works, especially when you depend on luck playing bowling with Wan, for example.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...

I've been traveling outstation almost every week since early Feb.

I should've done this last year, then perhaps my target to clear my credit cards could've been achieved end of 2009.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps... so said Shirley Bassey...

Some friends are checking out tickets to Europe this weekend at MATTA Fair, and I don't think I've enough to join them. Perhaps I can only afford the tickets, but not the expenses and the shopping. If only I did save up earlier, which I couldn't because I'm paying my credit card, then perhaps I could afford to join them.

Perhaps...

"Now, lie low and just observe like you always do"
"But I wanna have fun and enjoy!"

"Yes, but that won't make you happy"
"Why not?"

"Because you're cursed to understand. Because ignorance is bliss."
"No I don't understand anything. I only try to feel what they feel."

"Guess so... too bad. Perhaps you don't have to..."
"Perhaps..."

Friday, March 5, 2010

March of the fishes

I'm typing this in my hotel room in Kuantan.

Just got back from late supper with colleagues at the famous Kemaman Kopitiam. Realised that some of my close friends and family will be celebrating birthdays this month.

So, here's to all, in no particular order of importance:
  • Hard
  • Heri
  • Safuan
  • IsGelak Jangan Lupa Vote
  • Damage Control
  • Julia
  • My mum
  • My (late) dad
How does it feels like growing up with Pisceans? Of course, many would object something that sounds so 'intangible'... nor do they behave so differently from others, anyways. Maybe I'll blog about it someday...

So, who is the strongest-willed/'toughest bitch-from hell'/highly ambitious/artistically articulated Piscean you know?

Friday, February 26, 2010

gin blossoms - til i hear it from you

I was trying to sleep yesterday when this song was played on mix.fm. Yea, I always let the radio on when I sleep because the silence is deafening.

1995. The song was by Gin Blossoms. From the Empire Records movie soundtrack. Liv Tyler, Renee Zelweger, etc. Staying in Shah Alam with 4-5 others, we would rent video tapes to be watched together on weekends.

1995. Grunge. Nirvana. Cranberries. Seattle bands. Reality Bites. Winona Ryder. Ethan Hawke was cool. Junkie-look models. Kate Moss. Checkered flannel shirts.

"Ko pergi mana?"
"WUSHU"
"Pittsburgh!"
"New Mexico"
"NYU!!". "I'm gonna be a New Yorker!!"
"Michigan Ann-Arbor".
"Cornell". "Power sialll".
"Dia anak Ani Arope, dapat choice pergi MIT atau Stanford. Dia nak pergi Stanford sebab murah skit".

Friends left to the States by batches, I was left. I didn't make it. I wasn't good enough for the placing.

Never failed anything major before in my entire life so that sucked.

Something died in me after that, and has yet to recover.

"Time is running out, you have to move faster!!". I keep telling myself. And I'm getting tired.

Friends said I'm competitive, I said I'm trying to be relevant.

1995. I questioned everything.
"Is there a God?"
"Look up, just look up and see." The voice inside my head said.
I looked up and saw the moon. It wasn't the full moon. Earth's shadow made it crescent.
"That's a brilliant mathematical equation! Earth and moon have to be at the position they are now to cast a complete eclipse of the sun or moon!"
I decided there is a God...

Gained my strength and will to live, but something else that died in me has yet to recover. I don't know what it is.

Today, I've been auto-repeating this song the whole day, the only song in my WinAmp playlist. Brought back weird memories that I don't want to remember again, fun memories at college, sad memories of disappointments. I want to know what died...